Who will WIN on Tuesday???
Well, we’re almost there. Who would have predicted that these two would be who we have to choose from, 12 months ago? How did we get here? What transpired to get these two to the finish line?
Who cares?
I’m going to tell you who will win, and why.
Why McCain will win…
…because all the chad machines have been destroyed in Florida
Why Obama will win…
…because ACORN allows buy one, get one free voter registrations
Why McCain will win…
Too good to let go…
…because Tina Fey is just too damn good playing Sarah Palin
Why Obama will win…
…because Michelle Obama needs a reason to be proud of her country, for the first time
Why McCain will win…
Swee-EET!
…because Cindy McCain is flat out hot
Why Obama will win…
…because Michelle Obama is, um, gonna kick your ass if you don’t vote for her. I mean HIM! I mean, HER HUSBAND!
Why McCain will win…
…because everyone knows Maverick always came out on top
Why Obama will win…
…because Ohio learned from 2004 how to better manufacture votes out of thin air
Why McCain will win…
…because buses all across the country will break down, filled with the poor, the homeless, and slobbering seniors out of retirement homes who can’t even remember their names
Why Obama will win…
…because, angry right wingers, who sit at home because ‘centrist’ McCain was nominated, are thinking they will “show THEM!!!”
Why McCain will win…
…because a study shows that “smarter people are more likely to vote…”
Why Obama will win…
…because there are more stupid people frothing to vote than there are smart people
Why McCain will win…
…because Joe the Plumber is on his side
Why Obama will win…
"Me? Crazy? HUH???"
…because George Soros trumps Joe the Plumber, by about a cool billion, or two, or three
Why McCain will win…
…because he reaches across the aisle, and implements bipartisan legislation like campaign finance reform
Why Obama will win…
…because McCain implemented campaign finance reform
Why McCain will win…
…because “M” comes before “O”… except in Oklahoma, where two O’s clearly come before the M.
Why Obama will win…
…because someone named Anthony Fitzsomethingorother will vote over 728 times in 13 different States.
Why McCain will win…
…because he is a POW… “Proud Old Whitie”
Why Obama will win…
…because he is, after all, the “Messiah”, according to his disciple, Louis Farrakhan
Re the “What Happens Poll”. (the validation sum doesn’t appear on the relevant comment page so I am posting this here).
I think it becomes instantly clear to the readers of this poll that you are unable to write a proper questionnaire without wearing your prejudices on your sleeve. Most of the questions are unanswerable because they have: (tick one)
a) no meaning
b) bear no relationship to reality
c) there is no way of telling the outcome regardless of who becomes president
d) all four of the above.
Fortunately your readers are treating this election in a serious manner.
Our family is looking forward to Tuesday
We hope Obama will win and help repair the damage of the last 8 years.