All Posts Tagged With: "Michelle Obama"
Obama’s Cabinet
Well, reality is going to set in soon, and all of these people who were fed “hope” are going to start using the word “wish” real soon… as in, “I sure wish there were a way to give all those tax breaks to all those folks AND pay for all these damn things that were promised.”
At any rate, we now truly have an “Obama-nation”. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out like the word sounds.
So, we need to get started, and Obama has wasted no time, targeting former Clinton buddy Rahm Emanuel.
I’m going to put Emanuel in the “partisan” category. He is a hard charging opinionated outspoken pain in the ass, essentially. This might be a good pick, considering the fact he is a driver, but on the other hand, this is not exactly the first sign of “moderation” that we all hope to see from Mr. Left Wing Liberal.
Considering thre rest of Obama’s picks, which I will lay out here, we might just be glad he picked such a tightass as Emanuel. Let’s take a look at some of the picks. Keep in mind, this is an incomplete list, subject to change, from a very secret source.
Secretary of the Buffet Table
Oprah Winfrey
She’s handling all the White House food prep. Hand me a drumstick.
Department of Homeland Security
Bill Ayers
Come on. Who else???
Secretary of American Pride
Michelle Obama
She’s proud now. Of America. Really. For the second time in her life.
Department of Bitch
Hillary Clinton
Who can argue with perfection? Plus, she wanted to keep an eye on Billy.
Undersecretary
Bill Clinton
Yes. That’s it. Undersecretary. It’s a new position.
Department of Agriculture
Snoop Dog
It is suspected he gained the position due to his award winning work with hemp. Not sure about the pig-tails. I think they are useful or make you popular in prison.
Secretary of NAMBLA
Barney Frank
The other candidate was rumored to be a retired Rear Admiral. I heard Frank was behind him. Oh boy.
Chief Race Relations Council Director
Louis Farrakhan
He said he would never work for “Whitey”. Obama getting elected made this possible. Like the Civil War, a lot of “Whitey” types helped make that possible.
Undersecretary of Child Care
Michael Jackson
Feel safer now? I know I do.
Department of Surrender
Cindy Sheehan
What with Obama’s pledge to pull troops out right away, this had to be filled pronto.
Department of Really Bad Hair
Al Sharpton
Sharpton was up for Director of Racial Extortion, but he was beat out.
Director of Racial Extortion
Jesse Jackson
Damn. Was hoping that once a black man got to the highest office, Jackson would become obsolete.
Token White Guy Department
Joe the Plumber
Obama is apparently paying him $250,000.01, just to piss him off.
Director of Neck Slashing
OJ Simpson
He was also listed as a potential Secretary of Dumbass
Obama WINS!!! POLL
Okay. That is my way of getting your attention, even though the reality is at the time I write this, it is only incredibly likely that Obama will win. I do NOT expect a Dewey kind of night here.
I just wanted to compile a why I think McCain might have lost list, and perhaps you can even vote on it. Go on. Have fun. You won’t have much in the next 4 years.
CONSERVATIVES… JOIN THIS SITE… BOOKMARK THIS SITE… we have a lot of work to do…
You can vote for FIVE.
Why McCain Lost
Loading ...Who will WIN on Tuesday???
Well, we’re almost there. Who would have predicted that these two would be who we have to choose from, 12 months ago? How did we get here? What transpired to get these two to the finish line?
Who cares?
I’m going to tell you who will win, and why.
Why McCain will win…
…because all the chad machines have been destroyed in Florida
Why Obama will win…
…because ACORN allows buy one, get one free voter registrations
Why McCain will win…
Too good to let go...
…because Tina Fey is just too damn good playing Sarah Palin
Why Obama will win…
…because Michelle Obama needs a reason to be proud of her country, for the first time
Why McCain will win…
Swee-EET!
…because Cindy McCain is flat out hot
Why Obama will win…
…because Michelle Obama is, um, gonna kick your ass if you don’t vote for her. I mean HIM! I mean, HER HUSBAND!
Why McCain will win…
…because everyone knows Maverick always came out on top
Why Obama will win…
…because Ohio learned from 2004 how to better manufacture votes out of thin air
Why McCain will win…
…because buses all across the country will break down, filled with the poor, the homeless, and slobbering seniors out of retirement homes who can’t even remember their names
Why Obama will win…
…because, angry right wingers, who sit at home because ‘centrist’ McCain was nominated, are thinking they will “show THEM!!!”
Why McCain will win…
…because a study shows that “smarter people are more likely to vote…”
Why Obama will win…
…because there are more stupid people frothing to vote than there are smart people
Why McCain will win…
…because Joe the Plumber is on his side
Why Obama will win…
"Me? Crazy? HUH???"
…because George Soros trumps Joe the Plumber, by about a cool billion, or two, or three
Why McCain will win…
…because he reaches across the aisle, and implements bipartisan legislation like campaign finance reform
Why Obama will win…
…because McCain implemented campaign finance reform
Why McCain will win…
…because “M” comes before “O”… except in Oklahoma, where two O’s clearly come before the M.
Why Obama will win…
…because someone named Anthony Fitzsomethingorother will vote over 728 times in 13 different States.
Why McCain will win…
…because he is a POW… “Proud Old Whitie”
Why Obama will win…
…because he is, after all, the “Messiah”, according to his disciple, Louis Farrakhan
26 things that will happen when Obama becomes President
Ok, so it’s a foregone conclusion now, right? Everyone willing to throw in the towel? While I DO say this kind of tongue in cheek, and do expect the undecideds to break for McCain in the end by about 70-80%, I figured I would write an article that will illustrate what will happen if Obama becomes President.
Some serious, some not so serious…
So, putting on my “Nostradamus” hat…
- Obama will reveal that the ‘b’ really IS an ’s’, and invite his brother back home out of Afghanistan.
- Ear Muff sales will triple.
- Al Gore will claim he invented the negro.
- Political hopefuls in college everywhere will drop out of world history political science and instead enroll in speech writing and sermon classes.
- O.J. will not only be pardoned, but promoted to “Chief of Stab”… I meant “Staff”… really…
- Half of the remaining KKK members will commit suicide. The other half will head toward Washington, their pick-em-up trucks full of beer and bullets. (Note to them: “Washington” is the one with the “D.C.”, up there in the northeast, not the big State way up in the northwest…)
- The Secret Service will be replaced by “The New Black Panthers”
- The name “White House” will be under immediate review.
- Louis Farrakhan will still insist that the black man is held in the gutter by the evil whites and jews.
- Jesse Jackson will become obsolete. Finally. Really. No, I mean it.
- Jeremiah Wright will replace him.
- Rosie O’Donnel will still be gross and enormous (I mean her mouth), and unimportant.
- Code Pink will hold a huge party. Lesbians only, however.
- Terrorists will become more afraid of France than the U.S., as we begin to employ the “Let’s sit down and talk with them, one on one” policy.
- Obama will meet one on one with Ahmadinejad. He will later think “that was the DUMBEST thing I ever said I would do…”
- Troops may start packing to come home… enlistments and re-enlistments will drop sharply.
- Having taken the “top” job in the U.S., the NAACP will have nothing left to”advance”, and their membership will find something else to do.
- Blacks and whites across the country will applaud our “first black President”. Geneticists will remind them that he is half white, and half black, and that the dominant gene is indeed, in this case, the ‘white’ gene from his mother.
- Bill Clinton will then step up and say “Wait a minute… I thought I was the first black President?”, to which we will reply “No. No. You invented Al Gore. And thank you very little.”
- During the post-election celebration, many major cities, especially those in the south, may find large groups of blacks in the streets. There might be violence, and building fires. What a fitting way to show how far we’ve come.
- “Some of my best friends are black people” will lose its cliché power, and will be replaced by “My PRESIDENT is a black person!”, giving white people across the nation nothing left to “prove”.
- Michelle Obama will become the most outspoken and disliked first lady in the history of the nation.
- T-shirts showing Michelle Obama’s face with the text “First Ho” will be everywhere.
- Your taxes WILL go up. More than once.
- Millions in Florida and Ohio won’t know what to in the days following, having set them aside for the immediate but now unnecessary recount process.
- Millions of Americans will wake up on Wednesday thinking “why the HELL didn’t I get my ass out and VOTE???”
Conservative Blog KaPOW!!! 5/20/08
The Emperor Tries to Wear ‘Real Man’ Clothes
Well, it was only a matter of time that we would have to see this liberal wuss try to “defend” his “honor”.
Going up against a war hero, combat veteran, soon to be 72 year old Patriot, Barack Obama is trying now to set the stage for his “I really AM a strong man, a REAL man” campaign.
Not more than a week ago, I recall Obama talking in response to an apparent President Bush slam on Obama for being
Conservative Blog Political Potpourri, 4/10/08
Mexicans Invading Mexico
Sheriff Joe Arpaio is at it again, and we say “thank goodness for the last of the John Wayne’s”.
In Arizona, the crackdown is becoming real, and illegals (or, “undocumented workers”, as the law defying left would call them) are running like rabbits back into the desert and into neighboring areas. Watch out New Mexico, you just might become the NEW Mexico.
Arpaio and company are acting on the “broken window” philosophy, where law enforcement agents use every infraction as an excuse to impose the government’s authority into your business. It is called the broken window philosophy because the implication is that you will be investigated/arrested even for something as simple as breaking a window.
This low level infraction exposure of illegals is maddening the left… I wish them luck. Break the law, expose yourself to the law, all of the law. You can be pulled over for a broken tail light, and then busted for possession of cocaine. What the law is doing now is verifying citizenship at similar broken tail light offenses, as well as other low level infractions.
The REAL news here is, so many illegals are running back to Mexico all of the sudden that
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Current NUT
Hey! America has a NEW FRIEND! Iranian President Ahmadinejad has sent his congratulations to President Elect Obama! This is our first sign of "Hope" and "Change". "Yes we CAN befriend idiots!" Thanks Barack!!! -
Current BOLT
Miserable campaign. Miserable circumstances economically. Not the greatest VP choice. OUTSTANDING concession speech. Made me proud. -
The most stupidest dumbest thang I have heard lately from the left...
Michael Moore, gushing hope in his own personal message to us all, stated "But today we celebrate this triumph of decency over personal attack, of peace over war, of intelligence over a belief that Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs just 6,000 years ago." Wow. I'm at a loss for words. This doesn't even deserve more than that word- "Wow". Does obesity cloud the brain, too? -
Panoptic22 -
Thanks 
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