The Best, Worst, Dumbest, Biggest, Stupidest — everything of 2009

Much like every year since the start of this blog, I’m gonna vamp for you on some of the biggest stories of 2009. Some funny, some serious, many political. Barry has his share, trust me. You can’t stumble through a year as president like he has and not make this list several times…

When you’ve read, write us (post a response) and tell us what we missed. What would be on YOUR list???

• Biggest farce of the year:

Obama, Nobel Peace Prize. Hasn’t even proved himself in any way yet. Man. I thought only the common American could be bamboozled by hype. Apparently the world can, too.

• Biggest story of the year affecting us all:

The economy? Well, sure. But, I think the biggest problem with that story is Barry’s constant use of the word “inherited”. Maybe if mister two year senator, I’ve accomplished jack shit myself in life took some ownership for it, he might find the need to put a little more energy into fixing it, instead of trying to traipse around the world working on Olympic bids, dismantling missile shield agreements, apologizing for the US to the world, and accepting Nobel prizes he did not earn.

• Best computer moves:

Apple continues to wow with iPod’s and iPhones and coming in 2010 something called the “Apple Tablet”. Rocking the world with personal computing gadgets, Apple is finally showing why they, and not Gates’s  Microsoft, are the computing giants of the last 25 years.

• Biggest story you have not heard yet:

Democratic districts have received twice as much money as republican districts, regardless of evidence of how badly the area had been affected by job loss or lower income due to the economic recession.

• Dumbest economic idea:

Cash for Clunkers. Who did the best? Toyota. Thousands of good, properly working cars were destroyed. Cash did not get to dealers from the government fast enough. It stalled, started, stalled… There’s more to the story that makes it “dumb”, but we have to be brief here. Too much to cover.

• Best example of an knee-jerk, pansified nation of politically correct whimpy ass squeaky wheels:

Miss America, Carrie Prejean, loses her crown, because she speaks her mind about her feeling that marriage should be between a man and a woman. She wasn’t even mean about it. But then again, this nation likes people like that cry-baby she-man Perez Hilton. Who the HELL made him a judge of anything???

• Most surprising loss of 2009, entertainment:

Michael Jackson’s sudden death was surprising, no doubt about it. Even more surprising to me was the international effect. Even though I am not a big Jackson fan, this was just flat out unfortunate.

• Best “save” of the year:

Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger ditches an Airbus 320 into the Hudson after a bird-strike took out power from BOTH engines. Gliding the 70+ ton hunk of metal into freezing waters in middle of the New York skyline.

• Runner up for dumbest use of the public’s goodwill:

Just behind Tiger? Michael Phelps, for getting caught bonging it up. Man- talk about stupid. These guys both show kids how NOT to blow your image on stupidity if you ever become an American sports icon.

• Best example of why we shouldn’t judge books by covers:

Susan Boyle. The English femme vocalist rocked the world with her amazing performances, showing us all that, really, we need to stop being amazed by the God given gift of skin deep beauty, but rather we should be seeing the other qualities people have.

• Best return from the grave:

OK… maybe a bad choice of words… but, the Beattles re-mastered catalog is released… and they stillllll are as big as ever…

• Biggest mistake of 2009, or perhaps even our lifetimes:

Passing any of the current versions of any Health Care bill that exists in congress.

• Worst change in the Senate:

Al Franken is awarded a seat after new votes for him kept appearing at every recount.

• Best change in the Senate:

Ted Kennedy left it.

• Best Movie of the Year:

Up

• Best example of Global bullshit:

An ocean of evidence is revealed by hackers, showing that scientists have for years intentionally misled, hidden, lied, and skewed evidence and data in order to strengthen their case for global warming.

• Best Example of Lack of Wisdom:

Barry claiming that the police acted “stupidly” in the arrest of Professor Henry Gates of Harvard. This before all the details were known… in fact, Barry even acknowledged all of the details were not yet known when he said they acted stupidly.

• Best bait and switch of the American people, congress:

Barry demands that the stimulus bill must be passed immediately, intimating that armageddon would be the result if we failed to do so. It passed, with hardly anyone reading it, in the dead of night. Dayyyyys later, the dipstick in chief signed it. Moooonths later, only a fraction of it had been spent. So much for the rush.

• Biggest Fantasy Movie flop of the Year:

Barack Obama’s “Change- the “Yes we CAN” story”

• Top broken promise maker of 2009:

Not sure if it should be Tiger, or Barry. But since what Tiger does really doesn’t have much affect on my life, I am going to have to go with Barry’s broken promises. Some of them can be found here:

Politifact

More can be found here:

World News Daily

• Best example of poor vetting skills:

Barry, again. How many tax cheats did he nominate? I am DAMN glad this idiot is not the head of personnel or human resources at any company I might have to depend on… Wait a minute…

• Best “passer of the buck”:

Barry Obama. He’s used the word “inherit” probably 976 times since he got his ass in office. He uses it so much I almost forget he WANTED the job, and ran for it on a promise of “hope” and “change” and “yes we can”.

• Most precipitous fall from grace:

Again, a dead heat between Barry and Tiger. But, I have to go with Barry, 47 percent at one point in December, according to Gallup. The lowest in history (record) for ANY president at that point in his presidency.

• Best example of personal decisions negatively affecting an iconic business:

Tiger Woods sleeping around. Let’s see… if it was say it was 15 women, at a loss of say, oh, 400 million… that’s 26,666,666.7 million per “ho”…

• Best exposé of those nuts being f-ing nuts:

Corruption of one of the most controversial political activist agencies in the US is exposed when Hannah Giles poses as a prostitute and speaks with ACORN representatives, and subsequently receives advice on how TO falsify forms and promote prostitution of illegals from south of the border being smuggled into the country. ACORN clearly turned a blind eye to what they were hearing, and it has clearly set them back… for now…

• Worst gift of 2009:

Obama, giving Gordon Brown a DVD set… Brown gave Obama a penholder carved from the wood of an anti-slavery ship. Obama stepped it up later, though, by giving the Queen an iPod. Top quality class, this man. Oh yeah- this was after he sent back the bust of Winston Churchill. So England has to have their eyebrow raised…

• Best impression of a Soviet Dictator:

Barry’s attacks on media which simply disagrees with him, and has a huge voice. Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, for example. Dumb. Un-American, and just flat out stuuuuupid.

• Best example of lack of self control:

Kanye West bumping out Taylor Swift and announcing the Beyonce Knowles should have won the Best Female Video award. President Obama even called him foolish, which… well, consider the source of that criticism…

• Lamest waste of Presidential Power:

Barry’s failed bid for Chicago to get the 2016 Olympics. They (Chicago) went out first. So much for the rock star.

• Worst example of humility:

Barry Obama stating that his bowling score was “like the special Olympics..”

• Best example of “not thinking it through” before you make a promise:

Barry, promising that GITMO will be closed by a deadline. Even before he knew the details. Those pesky details. One quality I look for in a leader of a great country is knowing what the F you’re talking about before you make some dumbass promise to satisfy the extremist losers in your party.

• Best drug use liar:

A-Rod. After denying steroid use for years, he finally got burned. What an ass.

• Best comeback in Sports:

Bret Favre. I’m not a fan of his return, because I thought his teary exit was meaningful and I loved it. It seemed genuine. But, he has proved that even over 40, a man can be an elite quarterback in the NFL. Wow.

• Best comeback in Sports, almost:

Tom Watson. FEET from winning the British open, at FIFTY NINE YEARS OLD!!! Amazing… And Lance Armstrong took 3rd in the TDF…

• Biggest man on campus behind the wheel of a car:

Jimmie Johnson, four straight NASCAR titles, and the AP athlete of the year… first EVER in NASCAR on both counts.

• Best example of nature missing its mark:

Scientists found that volcanic activity may split Africa in two. We’re all scratching our heads wondering why that energy can’t be redirected into the area of Iran…

• Best Rambo Wanna Be moment:

Barry orders seals to take out Somali pirates on the Maersk Alabama. The left touts this like “See?!!! He IS tough on terror!” This was a joke. Any 5th grader could have made that little decision. “Hmmm. Naval vessels? On the ocean? International waters? Send in the Seals…” Remember, the Impotent in Chief changed the name from “Global War on Terror” to “Overseas Contingency Operation”. HUH? Incredibly limp d*****.

• Best disease used as joke fodder:

H1N1 is coined to replace the term “swine flu”. When Obama was elected president, the following line started showing up in email joke chain letters— “It was once sarcastically said that we’ll have a black president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obama’s presidency…….. Swine Flu!”

• Best example of Teret’s Syndrome in an athlete:

Serena Williams, at the line judge at the US Open—
“I swear to God, I’m fking going to take this fking ball and shove it down your fking throat, you hear that? I swear to God.”

• Best attempt at hiring a conspiratorial bastard communist:

Barry appoints Van Jones as the White House Green Adviser. Yet another example of the poor vetting that the Obama administration performed on its appointees. Jones’s past comments, radical in nature, should have kept him from ANY position in ANY administration.

Left us in 2009

Bea Arthur

Billy Mays

Don Hewitt

Dom DeLuise

David Carradine

Ed McMahon

Farrah Fawcett

Michael Jackson

Henry Gibson

Jack Kemp

James Whitmore

Jane Randolph

John Hughes

Karl Malden

Les Paul

Marilyn Chambers

Maurice Jarre

Oscar Mayer, Jr.

Pat Hingle

Patrick Swayze

Ricardo Montalban

Robert Novak

Ron Silver

Patrick McGoohan

Ted Kennedy

Soupy Sales

Walter Cronkite

Dan Seals

Irving Levine

Paul Harvey

Chuck Daly

Steve McNair

Top Stories of 2009

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