Elliot Ness and Love Potion #9

(Editorial satire in italics)

Democrat Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer made his name by standing up for the little person. However, he is now in big trouble for probably laying with the wrong kind of little person, namely a 5′5″, 105 pound hooker.

We all knew it would be salacious when Spitzer started out with “”Today, I want to briefly address a private matter, which involves my privates, and my briefs.”

“Over the past nine years — eight years as attorney general and one as governor — I have tried to uphold a vision of progressive politics that would rebuild New York and create opportunity for all, including prostitutes.”

“We sought to bring real change to New York and that will continue, as evidenced by my attempts to put my spare change in the purses of whores and pimps.”

Spitzer was apparently “client 9″… “How could you blame me?” Spitzer asked. “She was prostitute #6, I was client #9. So it seemed a perfect match.”

Here is Spitzer talking about something… Not sure what it was, but I am sure it was something that matters…

Once known for being a Chief Prosecutor, Eilliot stated today “I thought I would try a new position, chief prostitutor.” The call girl in question was from the “Emperor’s Club VIP”. Citing a popular movie title, Spizter was heard saying “I think that was my Last Emperor” as he left the podium.

Spitzer deatiled this with his wife at his side. The couple has three daughters. Nothing funny about this, for those three women.

On a more serious note about Spitzer

I heard an attorney pundit say on television tonight that this man wanted to be run for President someday, and those hopes are dashed. “Wait a minute” I thought… “isn’t he a Democrat? Doesn’t this INCREASE his leadership potential? Has anyone looked at the Senate and House Democrat committee chairs lately? I would consider him a shoe-in now, actually.”

According to news reports, “In the affidavit signed by FBI agent Kenneth Hosey, the high-priced agency was populated by very picky hookers. The complaint details how one prospective hooker refused to work for the company because it didn’t pay enough and complained that a friend of hers had sex twice in an hour without getting dinner first.”

Oh that is rich… you went out and agreed to be paid for sex with a stranger, but somehow found it objectionable that dinner somehow did not preclude your first two acts of sex for money??? Are you SERIOUS? You are giving women a bad name. How can they ever expect to be respected again for giving up sex just one time without dinner?

“While this is the worst problem Spitzer has faced, his 14 months in office have been marred by problems, including an unpopular plan to grant driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants and a plot by his aides to smear Spitzer’s main Republican nemesis.”

Wow- it is a good thing this hooker was not an illegal. Wouldn’t that just make the perfect Hollywood Movie???

Ending the War in Iraq-

I keep hearing the left-wing Presidential candidates talk about ending he war in Iraq. Here is some news for them:

We ARE ending it. It is called “winning”. Works this way- you win, you go home. If it takes time, that is not losing. If you portray it as losing when we are not, that is political and borderline treasonous.

Get this fact in your head: If you lose, or retreat, you still go home, but they follow you here.

You Skanky Trailer Trash Scumbags

Ok… it has come to this. Now all of you trashy humans are either peeing or dumping your drugs into the water system.

The Associated Press investigation into the presence of trace amounts of pharmaceuticals in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans has yielded this result: Yes, you druggies, your pee-pee is causing problems. MORE likely, though, is the chance that you skanky yanks are out there dumping your Pharms into the toilet.

STOP it! If you don’t, you are likely to have the EPA up your proverbial butt, putting taxes on your toilet waste…

Send all of your waste drugs to Courtney Love or Madonna.

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