Liberal New Year’s Resolutions
December 31st, 2008 • Related • Filed Under
Liberal? Having a hard time coming up with some New Years resolutions?
Let me help…
- Start telling the truth. To everyone. All the time. Even in elections.
- Find a cure for tantrums.
- Vote once. Even in off years. Just in your State. Your County.
- Try to put humans (especially the unborn) above animals.
- Tell the truth to blacks about which party REALLY supported them in the past, and does the most to “free” them now.
- Stop trading cigarettes and other favors to the elderly and homeless for votes.
- Acknowledge that “Pro Choice” means two choices- 1. Have the baby 2. Kill the baby
- Be proud of being a liberal (if that is intellectually possible). Stop hiding behind sugar coated terms like “progressive” when what you really mean is “I want to do whatever I want to do…”
- Stop complaining about big business while at the same time living in the lap of luxury buying their products.
- You ‘greeny’ silly little granola eating Birkenstock wearing environmentalists- replace your 1973 VW Bus. It is not ‘eco friendly’. And while you’re at it, please don’t tell me you are ‘Mr. Save the Planet’ when you are doing it on your computer- made by low cost Chinese labor… shipped here in big tankers on the ocean, using diesel fuel… made from plastics, which are petroleum products… trucked to the store, which is probably ALSO a big business (like Best Buy or Office Depot). And shave your pits, if you are a girl.
- Realize that “Hope”, “Change” and “Yes we can!” are slogans, and not solutions, plans, or actions.
- Realize that talking louder does not make your point more likely to be logical.
- Take some courses in History, Law, and Government so you can understand that Judges are not legislators.
- Stop crying about Fox News. The biggest problem you have with them is that, as Jack Nicholson said, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” What you really don’t like is, someone trying to get out the side of the story you would rather see swept under the rug.
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Could not agree with you more. Keep fighting the Good fight!
[...] was over reading “Liberal New Year Resolutions” at Conservative Oasis. Two comments there show that the trolls are very active indeed. One [...]
OMG, just got to reading Tang, was so PO’d at David Beckwith’s psychotic dream that I missed that one.
Tang is classic Fox Derangement Syndrome, gotta front page this. Tank needs cut back on the street meds and get to the local County Mental Health clinic quick. But then he is such a coward, he did not leave a link back to a site, maybe they do not want it tracking back to usaservice.org http://www.redstate.com/rcov092/2009/01/10/colin-powell-not-a-big-enough-draw-usaserviceorg-scheducles-bush-shoe-toss-to-drum-up-volunteers/
I Suggest if “peace” is so important to you David, you read this: http://www.historyguide.org/europe/munich.html.
Are you high? The Democrats have invented Internet vitriol over the last 8 years. Your self-rightousness is the final piece of evidence that anyone would need to finally establish the derangement syndrome that exists with liberals.
In all your rants about “progressive concerns”, nowhere do I see the word freedom. That is because, for your kind, freedom is not a condition you want to “cling” to (like us uneducated farm rubes – per Obama) because it interferes with your end-game of subsuming the rights of individuals to elitist management.
I especially love the “peace” one, More lives have been lost in the pursuit of “peace” which always seems to be on someone else’s terms. How about strength. Specifically, a strength that creates the environment of peace. Your liberal pathology is that if all on the planet were equal in strength, there would have to be peace. If you read history you will have to conclude that the opposite is true.
I am a liberal and a progressive and a Democrat, and after the past eight years, I cannot be more proud to be so. I would certainly not want to be a conservative or a Republican right now in time…and there has been no other time in my life when I would want to be one. The problem is…when one makes it to the top…whom does one find? Dull, reactionary white men, like Tom Delay? Or does one find dynamic, intelligent, creative and colorful people of all races and religions…not to mention Nobel Prize winners, Oscar winners, Grammy winners, Authors, Composers, and the clear majority of creative folk. If there were such creative energy among conservatives…why didn’t they use it to make America better?
There is no better time in the world to be a Democrat, a liberal, a progressive, or whatever you want to call us. And we will not get mired in name-calling, but will get to work, inventing the new internets, if you will, which will wind up saving all of our arses…because progressive concerns are global, universal, like clean air, water, good health care, peace…and not fringe issues like the definition of marriage, the sacrosanctity of weapons, and so on. If one should want to become a Republican or Conservative at this point, let us hope it is to re-write what it is all about, because it appears to be well out of gas.
Bingo, you hit the nail on the head (or the liberal in the stomach. . .)
I heard this list mentioned on The Dana Show here on KFTK Radio in Saint Louis and I’m thinking this is so spot on, it had me cracking up.
That should be:
“This is a sad excuse for a joke”
This is a said excuse for a joke. One of these days Con you are going to realize that you could be working with liberals to come to terms on issues instead of being a complete douche bag to them.
This blog post is about as intelligent as a 1st grader talking about someone he or she doesn’t like.
Great post. Points were all humorous at the same time sad but true. Judging from the first comment you received, you struck a nerve. Someone siting Daily Kos as a credible source is laughable. Keep up the good work for the conservative cause.
Well (and humorously) said!!
1. Tell that to Fox News and the entirety of fascist AM talk radio (they are NOT conservative). The average kooky Daily Kos diary is more likely to have its facts straight than the mainstream Republican Party media.
2. Tell that to Fox News and the entirety of fascist AM talk radio. The average kooky Daily Kos diary is no more hysterical than the mainstream Republican Party media.
3. Done. I vote every election and do research into the minor local elections to get a good idea of who stands for what.
4. Humans before animals, but have some respect for the animals. It’s a matter of having respect for life, humanity, and free will at the same time. Of course, an exception must be made for the terrorist sons of bitches getting blown up in Gaza. Go Israel! As for the “unborn”, I put living existing humans above imaginary ones and parasites infesting their bodies.
5. The slaves were freed by the party of northern urban liberals, the Republican Party of 150 years ago. Blacks were given their civil rights by an alliance of the liberal Republicans and northern urban liberal Democrats of 50 years ago. The figures in government who tend to take all the credit were Harry Truman and Lyndon Johnson, both Democrats. 30 years ago the Republicans invited the large number of racist Democrats who opposed black civil rights into the Republican party. The racists became known as Reagan Democrats and they are all Republicans now. The Republican Party’s current primary activity towards black Americans is trying to prevent them from voting at all because they are such a strong Democratic block for a very good reason.
6. Vote buying is illegal. If you have evidence of it, inform the local prosecutor.
7. A cluster of cells the size and human nature of a ball of snot is not a baby.
8. This is one of my pet peeves too. I am a liberal and proud of it. The progressives are a larger movement encompassing socialists, communists (both ideological and USSR-can-do-no-wrong even now), moderates who saw a need to take a stand against Bush, and liberals who are too chicken to call themselves liberals.
9. Most of the complaints are about specific activities of certain big businesses which destroy markets, externalize their costs onto society at large, commit unprosecuted fraud, and force the overall quality of products down because the majority of people who do not complain and are not aware of the issues will buy the cheaper product, putting everyone else out of business.
10. “Green” people these days will tend to have hybrid cars and look for the energy star rating on their home equipment. The goal is to have a sustainable ecosystem that will not someday fail and kill us all, not to abandon our way of life.
11. The change that I am talking about is changey change, the type of change that will change the way we change change for a change! Yeah, this bugged me too.
12. CC this one to Fox News and AM talk radio also.
13. CC this one to Antonin Scalia and the Federalist Society.
14. The problem with Fox News is that, when not simply inventing things, in telling one side of the story they intentionally leave out the pertinent facts that are needed to examine the whole story. It’s like complaining that “the police shot a guy!” when the guy was shooting at the police and had already killed a few bystanders. Anybody who tries to correct them and provide the important details about the story gets shouted down and forced off the air.
[...] Liberal New Year’s Resolutions [...]
Perfect, I know people that can use just such advise. (I just suggested they drop dead, but you make a much better case of it. Adding site to blog roll and referring readers to this list. THANKS
t
Very funny. Very true…
I LOVE this! i am going to share this with my husband:) very True!
Here! Here! My sentiments exactly!